Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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