we're blogging at a bar
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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