He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
