I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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