And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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