i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
