It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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