So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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