Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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