THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
