I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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