I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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