No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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