bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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