Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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