Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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