I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
