You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
