I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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