So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
