we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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