I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
