i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
