It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
