My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize