So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
