I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
