It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
