real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
3pm strippers are depressing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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