TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We're too hungover to prance.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize