i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Are we still banned from the library?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
