As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
