Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
