I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
