I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize