Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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