god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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