nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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