return my video game
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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