She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
