I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
