the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
