Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
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But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
