I feel like abortions should bother me more
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
