Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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