Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
