You can't motorboat a personality
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
