My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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