i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
