I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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