there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The best revenge is premature balding
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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