my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
