At least make sure they are 18
Why
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
