totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
