she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
True but thats because hes a fetus.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
