what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
