yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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