omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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