Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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