i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
