Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
