I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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