I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
