wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
did you just send me my own nude
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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