I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
