Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just want nice things and good sex
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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